Blond Ambition
by SugarBee
Summary: Someone's got a thing for Honjou! Matsuri/?, Sora/?
1. Chapter 1

**Blond ambition**

How could I not notice you? If you were not blond, I would have noticed you anyway. Your laugh, the way you walk. The curve of your mouth when you smile. Your sparkling green eyes. I get a chill when they fall on me.

But that blond mane – I did notice it. You are definitely a blond, my lovely Matsuri, in body and soul. The silky fullness of it on your back. I wanted to touch it. Doesn't everyone?

And so I did touch it. You laughed, looking over your shoulder.

"Matsuri-chan, you are a beauty," was the only thing I could think of to say.

I made you blush.

"You tease!" You said and got away from me. Late for class was your excuse.

I have time, and patience. I'm also not stupid. I slipped you a note in your box. Very late that same day I heard your voice on the phone,

"Sora? You – you want Sora to have dinner with you?" You sounded disappointed. Maybe I was only hoping.

Sora was like a deer in the headlights. I am also experienced.

"Don't worry," I joked, "let's just go out and have a little fun. You're too serious!"

He agreed and smiled for me. Sora is very cute. Innocent, even.

But he's not you.

I took him to dinner at a romantic restaurant. You know the one. Or do you? It's small and dark with candle light. I sat next to him and whispered in his ear.

"Do you want me for a boyfriend?" He said, all honesty.

"Do I?"

Yes, maybe. I desperately wanted to say it out loud – if I can't have Matsuri-chan.

"Sora," I touched his upper thigh under the table, "tell me seriously, are you available?"

By now he couldn't speak. Not that I wanted him to. I touched him until I was satisfied with the result. Yes, if I can't have you, I will take him. Reading this, I hope you're not jealous. You see, toying with Sora only makes me want you more.

After dinner I walked him home through the park and stopped half way. Maybe by now you've heard what happened. I kissed him. I started out gently tasting his soft lips, caressing his lips with my own. I stopped before going any further,

"Are you free to be my lover?"

He sighed and blushed, and I knew. It doesn't matter. But before we could finish our walk back to the dorm, something needed to be taken care of. I will be honest, I didn't hesitate. I took him into a darker area of the park and took him in my mouth. I'm very good. He probably thinks about it during his morning shower. I took care of him twice and then walked him home. Yes, I wanted to do more with him, but I would never do such a thing on the spur of the moment.

My own needs? I'll take care of those later.

At the boys' dorm I stopped Sora and kissed him deeply, using my tongue this time. He responded and our tongues caressed one another. He rose for me again and I touched him through his trousers.

"You are very delicious, Sora, but I won't take you again if you're not free," I whispered. To that he made no comment. In the dark I kissed him again and again, taking my fill. By the time I was finished, his member was so hard it nearly tore through his trousers.

"My gift to Nao-chan," I said before leaving him in the shadows underneath your bedroom window.

You are terrible. You know everyone wants you, to kiss your sweet mouth, to have you in bed. You tease and laugh, but I can't be fooled that way. I can read it in your eyes. But what do you think of me? That ... I can't read. Or am I fooling myself? It could be that you're not the least bit interested in ... me.

I will tell you, I won't lie about it – Sora came to me one afternoon. He was honest about Nao-chan. I was honest, too. And then we went to my apartment. Before going into the bedroom, however, we made an agreement and then undressed each other.

Sora is beautiful from his blue eyes down to his sex.

But he's not you. We went into my bedroom that afternoon a little after 2 and Sora left my apartment a few minutes before 6.

I waited two weeks, and there were storm clouds. I saw them, Matsuri-chan, and it was then I felt I had a chance with you. Very casually I approached you during your last class.

I gave you the invitation, "I have another job for the jacks."

You gave me an evil look and you know it. But you took my envelope.

"What is it? Another date with Sora? Why don't you just ask him ...," you said. When you read what I wrote, your face became flushed, "Me?"

"Yes. Have dinner with me, Honjou-chan."

Oh, your eyes then – if looks could kill, I'd be dead right now. You wrote a comment on the invitation and gave it back to me.

Request denied.

"I'm always much too busy. Ask someone else."

Fine. Remember what I said – I'm experienced.

I will have you.

"As you wish," was all I said.

You'll never believe this, but I did run into Sora again by accident. I had been having lunch with an ex-boyfriend at the downtown bistro when I noticed Sora all alone, at the tail end of a tour group coming out of the art museum. I apologized to my former lover and ran out to catch Sora. I gave him my card,

"Call me soon. Let's get together again."

He nodded and took my card, and called me that night. We talked and he agreed to come to my apartment. You should have seen the look on your face when you barged through the front door, green eyes ablaze. (P.S., I left the door unlocked for a reason.)

"HOW COULD YOU?!" You yelled at both of us.

All we were doing was talking. Seriously. We were sitting on the sofa, fully dressed, drinking tea.

"You!" Pointing, you said to me, "You're playing with both of us! Just the other day _you_ asked _me_ to dinner!"

My pretty Matsuri. I couldn't have hoped for better.

"I think I should go," Sora excused himself.

"Wait, Sora," you said, "I'll go with you."

I intervened, "Just a moment. Why don't you stay?"

You pretended that you wanted to leave, but I didn't have to try very hard to convince you to stay. You see, there's only one person in the world for Sora, and that's Sunao. Sunao, however, remains ice cold. After I explained it to you, I stole a kiss.

"_Now_ will you have dinner with me?"

You taste like mint.

Finally, I'm getting somewhere with you.

But don't think I'm going to make love to you the way I made love to Sora. Oh, no. Sora obviously confided everything to you, and I think at dinner you expected that I would fondle you. I won't. I'll be waiting for you to ask me. Instead, I sat and listened to you. Every word coming out of your sweet mouth as you talked about your ambitions, fears, desires. What do you want to be when you grow up? Of course – a P.R. Maven. It doesn't matter to me. Did you know that I'm also from a wealthy family? I'm quite wealthy myself.

I want you to come to me.

I am patient.

Making love to you in the park? Delicious, I'm sure. For our first time, however, I'll whisk you away up to my cabin high in the mountains.

After our first date I kissed you again, our second kiss. Don't worry, our kiss was different than my kiss with Sora. I stood close to you, breathing your breath, smelling your mane of blond hair. You smell of sweet shampoo and musk. We stood close together and you said my name, pleading with me. When I did kiss you, I didn't draw your tongue. No, not yet. Instead I reached inside your jacket to stroke your chest. When you moaned, I stopped.

"You should be going in," I said.

"Why?" Your question was honest and wide-eyed. I couldn't have asked for more.

The outside bell rang.

"That's the curfew bell, my sweet Matsuri-chan."

There was only one person now that I needed to see. The next day I made a special effort to see Nanami-chan.

Only to find you there. You blushed when you saw me. I couldn't help but see what Nanami gave to you.

"I should go," you said to Nanami and tried to duck out.

I caught you, "Can I see you tonight?"

You smiled, your cheeks flushed.

"Can I see you tomorrow night, and the night after that?" I teased.

And the night after that, and the night after that. I refused to let you go until you gave your assent and held you in my arms, enjoying the feel of your body.

"Soushi!" Nanami scolded.

Did I mention that Nanami belonged to me before he belonged to Shinichiro? That, in fact, is how the two met. Shinichiro is my younger first cousin. Since I am an orphan, having lost my parents in a car accident many years ago, Shinichiro's mother raised me as her own son. But Nanami was meant for Shinichiro and Shinichiro was meant for Nanami. There's no doubt about that. However, I still enjoy teasing Shinichiro quite a bit, as you know.

"Nanami, would you consider speaking to Nao-chan? If he doesn't ease up on the bitchy, he could lose Sora. Permanently," was all I really had to say.

"And could you please not toy with Honjou-kun? I know you're quite the flirt and you love to play, but please, I beg of you, not with Honjou," was her reply.

"The lady has spoken," I bowed just as Shinichiro came through the door. Just my luck.

Today, however, nothing can bother me, not even insults from my brother. Because I saw what Nanami gave you – a package of condoms. Now I feel as if I have wings. Maybe not this weekend, or the next, but soon – I'll take you up into the mountains in my sports car and we'll try out Nanami's gift.

--

_A/N: Did I make Soushi sound too much like a stalker? This is the first time I've written a story like this, that's almost like a direct letter. Love it, hate it? Thx, reviewers!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I think this is still rated as "M," so my further chapters should be safe. ^_^ Thank you reviewers, and peeps who have favorited this story. I have a feeling I'm going to be a Sukisho fangirl until the day I die, and this is one of my better stories, imo, so here I am, writing more chapters. Thx again for everything! ^^';;;;_**  
**

* * *

**chapter 2  
**

Does anything ever go the way we want it to?

Yes.

Once in a blue moon.

Even if a person is wealthy, things don't always go the way they want them to. Life is … complicated. The easiest problems can be solved with money or a few phone calls. Once those matters have been taken care of, they blow away like dead leaves, leaving the real problems standing there like tree trunks with deep roots. I had known about this one for a long time. I'd just never had to do anything about it.

Until now.

I arrived at my office at 8 a.m. to find a phone message in my in-box, "Can I please talk to you after school? It's really important. I have no one else to talk to." Followed by initials and a phone number. I knew who this was but found it odd. I had a client from 10 to 11 a.m. Promptly at 11:15 I called the number.

"Hello," the voice said quietly.

"Got your message," I said, "what is this about, Gaku-san?" I just found it odd is all. Of course I knew him as being a friend of Sora, Sunao and my lovely Honjou, but … why he would want to talk to me ….

"I can't say right now," he whispered. "Can you see me after school? I can't tell anyone else."

I groaned, but only inwardly. My father had asked to see Shinichiro and me at his house for dinner at 6 p.m., and he was not a man you said no to. God help you if you were late. Gaku … something serious was on his mind.

"Fine," I said, "meet me at the coffee shop on 22nd …."

"No!" He whispered, "No – not where someone will see us. Across town, like at the …."

Ichikawa couldn't think of any place across town, most likely having never been across town.

"At A.J.'s Diner, Front Street – how about that? 4 o'clock?" I said. Shouldn't be a big deal. I'd hurry him along, drop him off at school and still be early to my father's house. The past weekend I thought about taking Honjou with me as a date, but decided against it. It was too early. I knew my father would like him, and yet – maybe a little later, provided our relationship became serious. I still hadn't made love to him. Everything was …

Well, I didn't want to rush things. Could be bad luck, after all.

At noon my secretary brought the mail in. There were a few letters from clients, court documents and a small, elegant dark blue envelope addressed in neat, square handwriting. I knew the return address immediately – the school. Inside was a silver card,

T_hank you for the lovely evening, Soushi.  
My intentions toward you are very honest,  
as I hope your intentions are  
regarding your affection for me.  
I'm not easy.  
If that's what you're looking for,  
then it would be best  
if you looked  
elsewhere._

_Sincerely, M. Honjou_

"You little bitch," I accidentally murmured under my breath. My knee-jerk reaction was to pursue him full force and get him into my bed that night, if possible. Like I said, some problems can be fixed with money. But Matsuri …

He had been cool and formal during our date, and there was nothing I could do to unthaw him. As soon as we got close to the school he left the car without as much as a goodbye. I walked him to his dorm anyway and managed to get at least a friendly kiss from him.

I took a deep breath and punched in a number on my cell phone. The message service kicked in on the other end,

"I need to see you this afternoon," was all I said and hung up. He was undoubtedly in class right now, the young man I liked to see very casually at my convenience. He was also a blond, an art student at the school in town, very beautiful and willing. It was a shame I didn't feel about him the way I felt about my lovely Matsuri-chan. As I said before, not all problems in life are easy to fix.

A few more phone calls to clients and other lawyers and I was off to lunch with an old friend from college who was now a private investigator. She was good – beautiful and shark-like. I liked to use her when I had to, and she liked the money, always. We kept in touch, having lunch once a month.

During lunch, my art student lover sent me a message saying that he would be available in the later afternoon. Faye knew exactly what was up.

She smiled wisely, "You're never alone, are you, Soushi?"

"Only at home at night," I said and shut my phone off.

"I don't believe that for a minute," she said.

"Sadly true," was my answer. Maybe it was the look on my face or in my eyes. As she could read my eyes, I also could read hers. She was concerned about me.

"I think this time I've been caught, Mrs. Spiegel," I said.

I kept my date with my college student. He was every bit as beautiful as my Matsuri-chan – so _why?_ Why not him? Hell, they were both blonds! He was willing to undress for me any time I wanted him. He was willing to do pretty much anything for me. But I didn't feel about him ….

The way I felt about ….

I went to kiss him … and then stopped. I couldn't kiss him the way I …. No. I just couldn't. I kissed his forehead and then his nose as I pulled his t-shirt up and over his head. He smelled great. He was considerate and had just showered for me. I undressed him slowly and completely, and then took him exactly there – by the front door of his apartment. As I climaxed, I closed my eyes and thought of another. I heard myself cry out, maybe a little more than I should've.

"Wow," he said afterward, "do you want to talk about it?"

I laughed softly, catching my breath. The second person today to pick up on my distress over a pretty blond.

I showered quickly and left my lover lying on his bed, beautifully nude. I smiled and kissed his forehead again, slipping a few bills into one delicate hand before leaving. The truth was that I knew he was in love as well, but not with me. We were both in the same predicament – in love with someone playing hard to get.

Gaku Ichikawa was waiting nervously at a table at A.J.'s Diner when I arrived at 10 to 4.

"Very good!" I said, sitting down, "I love people who are on time."

He looked as miserable as I felt. I was sexually satisfied. Otherwise … no.

"Would you like something to eat?" I offered, "My treat …?"

He did. He ordered a cheeseburger, french fries and a coca-cola. That was fine with me. While we waited, he fidgeted in his seat, saying nothing.

"You can tell me anything, Gaku-san," I said quietly. "Anything you want. It'll be just between you and me."

From across the table he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and blushed. He also looked around us. It was early yet for the uptown crowd, only 4 o'clock. A businessman sat alone at the end of the bar, talking with the bartender. To the side of us, a few tables away, a man and a woman sat and talked business over coffee. You could see by their body language that they weren't lovers. A divorced couple – maybe. They were far enough away that we couldn't hear their conversation at all. A few tables behind me two older ladies gossiped over coffee. We were safe.

I reached out to touch his hand, "Anything at all."

When he did speak, it was in a grave whisper, "Aizawa is still alive. And he wants, well …."


	3. Chapter 3

**chapter 3**

What happened was that Ichikawa had gone to a movie with Nagase that night. It was during the movie that Gaku thought a man sitting in the back was watching them. He had been smooching with Nagase, wanting to go farther, but didn't because he was certain that a man sitting in the very back row was watching them, even though he couldn't see the man's face very well in the dark. After the movie they drove back to Nagase's apartment off-campus, where Ichikawa was now spending every night. During the drive Ichikawa thought that maybe a car was following them. But – how crazy was that? First a man sitting in the back of the movie theater watching them kiss and handle each other in the dark of the theater, then a car following them home. Nagase parked on the side of his apartment building and they walked to the back door, discussing what needed to be done at school the next day. Ichikawa was walking with his face turned toward his lover when he thought he saw the man standing in between the trees that bordered the apartment building. Ichikawa was certain the man was masturbating as he watched the two walk along. The headlights of a car speeding from the other direction suddenly fell on the man and he fled.

"Gaku-kun," I said, "did you think that maybe this man saw you and Nagase touching each other in the movies and became aroused? Maybe he did follow you two to Nagase's, but …."

"No!" Ichikawa said, trying to keep his voice down, "I saw his face in the car's headlights! It was Aizawa!"

The drive back to school was filled with thought on my part. I was about 90 percent sure Ichikawa was wrong about Aizawa. Aizawa had died in the fire at his laboratory. His remains had been identified, not that there had been much left to identify. A small almost non-existent ceremony had been held at the family's mausoleum with only the priest, Kai and Gaku present on a rainy afternoon in early fall. I had handled the estate for Kai, waiving payment for my services until the whole matter had been settled. Kai was entitled to quite a large estate, but right now he was living on teacher's wages and had Ichikawa pretty much living with him.

"Gaku-kun," I said at length, "leave this to me. You should stay away from Nagase …."

"No, I can't," he said immediately, fidgeting.

"All right," I would give him that much, "in that case, if you see Aizawa again, call me immediately, day or night, unless you're with Kai. If you're with Kai, merely make a note of date, time and place. If Aizawa is still alive, my private investigator will find him."

Aizawa, if it was him, stalking Gaku while he was all alone would be very dangerous. There were reasons that I knew from Nanami-chan as to why Aizawa would want Gaku out of the way, namely, that he would want to be alone again with Nagase.

"He is still alive," Gaku said anxiously. "And … what if he wants sensei … again?"

Odd how he would say such a thing at that very moment. I never thought Gaku-kun would be the observant type. Could I be wrong?

The crux of the whole problem was that Nagase knew entirely too much about his own father. He knew about the experiments and records of the experiments. At one time Aizawa had employed Sunao like a whore, dressing him as a female and allowing him to be used among Aizawa's circle. Gaku had mentioned this in passing, and that Aizawa had photos of Sunao in various stages of undress to show to anyone interested. _He also made videos of Nao-kun with grown men or going solo, _Gaku had added. All of this information Nagase was keeping in a safe in his bedroom closet. It's one thing to photograph a 17-year-old boy, but a 12- or 13-year-old …. If Aizawa _was_ still alive, which I doubted, this would put him away for a good while.

But Ichikawa had seen the man masturbating, watching the two lovers walk to their apartment. It hadn't occurred to him that the man probably was not Aizawa but was some older man aroused by watching the lovers kiss and fondle each other, with no ill will toward Nagase at all. Ichikawa admitted that in the theater Nagase had unzipped Gaku's jeans and had freely handled his cock and balls. It was when he'd dipped his head down for a suck that Nagase asked Gaku to see if anyone was watching, that Gaku-kun saw the man in back of the theatre. He'd stopped Nagase and they went back to watching the movie, kissing and occasionally stroking. I had a feeling that if I tried to drive home the fact that Aizawa's remains had actually been identified after the fire, it would fall on deaf ears. He was determined to think Aizawa had come back from the dead and wanted to harm his lover.

Our drive back to school was full of anxiety and disgust. Ichikawa's anxiety was so palpable that it almost looked like he was having a seizure. The disgust was entirely on my part, with sorrow for Sunao and everything he'd been through. I was also a little disgusted that Nagase and Ichikawa were boning on a regular basis now, two times a day, more on the weekend if possible. Sora and Nao-kun were now sleeping in the same bed every night, and then, to make matters worse, the other day I walked in on Shinichirou and Mi-chan at school with what looked like Mi-chan kneeling down, playing the flute. The skin flute. That was the last thing I needed to see. Everyone but me was with the love of their life.

Okay, I _was_ getting some, but not with the one I wanted.

And then as we got closer to the school, I saw him. There was no one else like him with that mane of blond hair, walking with Sora and Nao-kun and talking. As we were just about to drive by, he turned to see – why then, I don't know. I would've preferred that Gaku and I had slipped by unnoticed, all the way to the dorm, considering the note I'd received in the mail earlier that day.

"Oh, shit," I heard myself say. Gaku didn't notice at all, determined to worry himself sick.

Matsuri noticed. His smile died as soon as he saw us. Cat was out of the bag. But all I had to do was explain. It wasn't like I was fooling around with Ichikawa. As I pulled over to the curb, Matsuri broke away from Sora and Sunao, half running over the lawn, on the other side of which was the dorm – a shortcut.

"Oh, fuck!" Now I had to try to get to him before he got inside and locked me out.

Ichikawa came to, looking around in alarm, "What's the matter?"

I pulled over, "I've gotta get that blond."

This was getting to be a reoccurring theme with me. I called out to him to stop, chasing after that slim, blond beauty all the while. But he had a good 10 yards on me. Just before he slipped into the dorm he glanced at me through his bangs.

"Matsuri, dammit, wait a minute!"

Not a chance. Not even a hesitation. He went in and the door clicked into lock mode behind him. As I went back to my car, which I wouldn't have done except that I had to be at my father's by 6, I had a smile on my face.

He was hurt. It was in his eyes. Matsuri was hurt that I had been with Ichikawa. Game … suddenly in my favor?


	4. Chapter 4

**chapter 4**

Dinner with my father. Same as always. Ryoyo was his favorite, his only son from his first marriage. There was no hiding his favoritism, which was fine with Shinichirou and me. We very subtly arranged to have Ryo sit at his right hand. Chirou-san and I sat together one place setting down out of respect for our absent mother, who was on a golf vacation with her friends.

"How's your love life?" Chirou-san said, knocking back half of the wine in his glass. Our father was hard of hearing. We could talk about pretty much anything at the correct distance from his left ear.

"I know you know about my love life," I sighed. "I got a lecture from Mi-chan the other night."

This amused him to no end, hearing me admit it, and he smiled, "Ah, Matsuri Honjou. Yes."

"Why don't you tell me – am I wasting my time?" I said quietly.

Shinichirou thought about it and seemed to be getting a mental picture of something or other. A sly smirk crept across his rotten face. Nanami had been mine at one time. In fact, Shinichirou had found his first internship, back in the days when he wanted to be an EMT, through myself and Nanami. And then he had found Nanami. When that was going to be less painful, I didn't know. The lady has chosen, as they say. I kept telling myself that, but what are you going to do? They're happy together.

"No," he said, "I don't think you're wasting your time. Matsuri is … mature enough. I think he's more mature than the others. More ambitious. You …."

And then we noticed that Ryo and our father had stopped their conversation and were staring at us.

"Sorry, father," I said, "please don't let us intrude on your conversation."

He went back to listening to Ryo, who was talking about adopting little Kano, at present eating in the kitchen with the housekeeper. Our father didn't like children, but he did seem to be interested in Ryo's plans for the future.

"Go ahead and tell me," I said to Shinichirou, "should I stop my pursuit?"

He thought about it as Ryo related to our father the affairs of his household, in particular the money that was coming in. This was one of my father's favorite subjects, and so he left us to ourselves.

"Well, it's like Mi-chan said," my brother's voice dropped to a near whisper, "don't pursue him for just a one-nighter. He's worth more than that."

"I agree," I said and finished my wine, thinking about my cabin on Kaidou lake up in the mountains. I bought it from my father the year after I graduated from law school. My great-grandfather had built it himself using only white pine. The cabin wasn't as ostentatious as some that were on the like drive, it was actually fairly small – perfect for me. Landscaped with heirloom trees and a garden, it had a lot of privacy, with room for one green-eyed blond.

Sora let me into the boys' dorm a little before 9.

"He's in his room," he said and pointed me toward the room at the end of the first floor hall, on the right. I'd never been so unsure of myself as I knocked on the door.

Matsuri answered immediately, "Who is it?"

"Soushi," I said firmly.

"Go away," he said.

"Matsuri …," it didn't help any that Sora was standing in the middle of the hall, staring, but Sunao had to come out of their room as well, as had two other boys farther down. I said as casually as possible, "Can I talk to you for just a minute?"

He whipped open the door, "I think I've already made myself clear …," but stopped when he saw a crowd gathering.

"Come outside and have a Coke with me," I said. "You can make it clear again."

His green eyes flashed, his pretty face hard with anger. Not that that put me off any. If things went as I planned, I would probably see him mad at least a few more times during my lifetime.

"I have studying to do," he said and tried to shut the door.

I put my foot in the way, "Can I come in for just a 10 minutes?"

"We can't have a guest in our room," Matsuri said quietly, working hard to brush me off.

I pushed a little more until I was just inside his bedroom, which he allowed. If he had wanted to keep me out, he could have. I let the door stay open.

"Then why don't you come and have a Coke with me, you won't be late for curfew," I said.

He backed away, but not before I caught his cool hand and held his fingers in mine, "We should talk about things."

He didn't pull away. He didn't look at me, either. He looked down, blond bangs covering his green eyes.

"Well …," he said quietly.

"Oh, hey," I said, "you've got something on your …."

He looked up, surprised, eyes wide. As soon as he did I stole a kiss. No big deal, just a brief kiss.

"Soushi, control yourself!" He pushed me out of his room.

It was worth it. Matsuri got his coat and came with me. The hall was empty by now. No witnesses. Silently I kicked myself for not trying to get a little bit more than a kiss from my blond angel. Damned high school dorms. However, I was now at Point B. We walked out together, my hand at the small of his back.

"I have to be back by 10," he said as we left the building. We passed two boys who said hi to Honjou-kun. He said hello back.

"Don't I know it," I said under my breath. He heard me.

Matsuri pulled his hood up as soon as we got outside, "What's that supposed to mean?"

The rain storm promised by the TV weather man had arrived, although it wasn't really a storm. It was a fairly gentle rain with mist and fog. This was good for what I had planned.

"Honey, I'm very conscious of the fact that you're still in high school and I'm 10 years older than you are. Of course you have a curfew, as would any 17-year-old."

"Oh," was his only answer.

With my hand still on the small of his back, I steered him toward where my car was parked at the curb in front of the dorm. More boys were walking onto the school grounds, coming from town no doubt, saying hello to what I was hoping would soon be my lover.

"I really wanted to stay and talk to you about Ichikawa this afternoon, babe, but I had to be at my father's for dinner. I had to go," I said.

"Mmm, well …," but he said nothing more than that. I opened the passenger's side car door for him and he got in in one swift movement. Once I was in the driver's seat, he said,

"Where are we going?"

"Nowhere," I said and gave him a cold Coke I had stopped to pick up on the drive from my father's. "I thought we could just talk here, or, I don't know, should I pull around to the back?"

I knew for a fact it was much darker at the back of the dorm. I had stood outside there and kissed Sora not too long ago. This was something I would have to shelve for the time being. If I thought about it too long I became hugely aroused. Sora had been quite willing, active and erect. What Matsuri might never understand was that there was a difference between love and hot sex.

He took the cold Coke and shrugged, "I don't care."

So I started the car and drove a whole half a block around to the back of the dorm. The lights of the school grounds had blinked on a few hours ago, their weak blue light washing over the quiet lawns and sidewalks. I was smart enough not to park directly under a light. Instead I parked about six spots away, which gave me enough light to see the object of my affection and any buttons or zippers that might need to be undone. Provided he let me get that far. Four boys walking on the sidewalk passed in front of the car and I watched them go.

"Your note came in the mail today," I said.

"Mm-hmm," he answered quickly.

"And I know what you're saying, Honjou-kun ...," I hadn't prepared a speech at all, but felt I should say something to allay his fears, which were rightly justified, about getting into a relationship with me. Or giving himself to me. Considering that I had been messing around with Sora, I had some back-pedalling to do.

Our normal autumn day was turning into a rainy autumn night with the wind kicking up. Rain pattered against the car windshield, which turned out to be good. It would be harder for someone to see us in the car that way. Soon the car windows would be fogging up – also beneficial for my purposes. But – there were a lot of kids walking around. That could be ... not so good.

"I don't think you trust me, Honjou," I said. That was putting it mildly.

"I _don't_ trust you," he said, sounding bitchy.

"All right, fair enough," I turned on the radio but kept it on low. "I want to get to know you better. You are welcome to not trust me, but would you at least go out with me? Give me a chance?"

"You fucked my friend," he said quietly.

There was no way I could deny that. Technically, I did more than that, but I left it there.

"Is that why you thought I was with Gaku-kun this afternoon?"

He sipped his Coke in the semi-dark and said nothing.

"But you talked to him and he told you what happened, right?"

"No."

"No?" That was so unlike Ichikawa. Finding a cure for cancer would have been easier for him than keeping a secret. "He said nothing?"

Incredible.

Honjou stared straight ahead at the dark, staring at nothing in particular, "The horrible thing is, is that I think ..."

Two kids walked by in front of the car, holding hands, in no particular hurry. Matsuri didn't seem to notice them at all. They glanced back over their shoulders at us, mildly curious. Matsuri still had his hood down over his hair, and I had been smart enough not to park directly under or even close to the streetlight, so they really couldn't see him. They were definitely looking, probably just out of curiosity.

"You're not going to get in trouble for being in my car, are you? It's raining, and yet everyone and their brother's out here walking around," I said. My words had barely died in the air when the two younger kids took a right toward the dorm's back door and another two appeared from farther up the sidewalk, crossing the lawn toward the front of the building. We were talking about a Wednesday night here. "I think someone's probably going to see you sooner or later."

This also killed my plans for any messing around I may have thought was a really good idea earlier in the evening. For instance, as Chirou-san and I were practically running out to our cars after our father said good night I was silently calculating every position Honjou-kun and I could get into in the front seat of my car.

"No, it's okay. I mean, we're not doing anything," he said.

"Definitely not doing anything," I said, turning my attention back to my gorgeous blond. He had an odd look on his face that I couldn't read.

He took another drink of his Coke, "Your brother asked me out."

My first thought was Shinichirou, for some odd reason. I mentally slapped myself, "Ryoyo-san?"

"Mm-hmm," Matsuri nodded. "What do you think? Can he treat me like I deserve to be treated?"

I couldn't help but smile, "Oh, hell no. But, more importantly, do you want to go out with him?"

"Mmmmm," he thought about it, "I like him ... He seems really nice ..."

While he thought about it I reached into his jacket pocket. The last time I saw him wearing this jacket, which was more of a stadium coat than a short jacket, he was in Nanami's office. I reached in, to Matsuri-chan's surprise, and pulled out a condom.

"Oh," I said sadly, "I don't have any lube with me."

"Ugh!" He said and snatched the wrapped square from my fingers.

I laughed and kissed him, "I'm kidding! So, tell me, what can I do to convince you to go out with me and not Ryoyo. Remember – he has Kano. Whereas, I'm single ..."

"Whereas," Matsuri smiled, "just like a lawyer!"

I stayed close to him, "Yup, I'm a lawyer. My father has businesses and is fairly wealthy, as is my mother. I have a townhouse. I have a cabin up at Kaidou Lake …."

"Mmm," Matsuri smiled. I leaned in again and kissed him, this time lingering with my lips on his. I caressed his soft lips with my own, taking in his sweet breath. I fully expected that he would push me away. He didn't. I pushed a little more, gentle but ardent, and he responded, opening his lips very slightly. Enough for an invitation. I slipped my tongue in for a deeper taste, the inside of his mouth as sweet as Coca-cola.

I stayed close to his sweetness and alabaster skin, "You know, I've wanted you since we first met."

"I wanted you, too," he said so quietly it was almost a whisper. This time he kissed me, shy about it.

I couldn't help but smile, "Did you?"

"And then you totally did Sora – totally," he whispered.

I kissed him, "True. But I shouldn't have. I think … we were both kind of open … and vulnerable … and horny." I brushed his blond bangs away from his bright eyes, "That's not what I was doing with Ichikawa today."

"Mmm," he watched me cautiously, eyes half-lidded.

I sat back in the driver's seat, half aroused, "He wanted to talk with me about something that was bothering him."

Unfortunately, my theory about car windows fogging up quickly in the rain wasn't coming true fast enough. The passenger side window was only about half there. A few car spaces down was another streetlight and another couple walking toward the car.

"I don't believe this," I said, "doesn't anyone stay indoors on a rainy night?"

Matsuri giggled. I was about to get back to smooching with him when something else caught my eye. It was a man, walking along slowly, behind the two boys. Night janitor coming on the scene? Wearing a long black coat, he also had an umbrella, but the face ... I'd spent enough time in court to know that hard jaw, thin lips and cold stare. Even the way he walked – taking careful steps, like a predator. Or was it my imagination?

"Wait a minute," I leaned over Matsuri and turned his face toward the approaching figure, "does this guy look familiar?"

Just then the man with the umbrella turned to cut across the law toward the front of the dorm, disappearing between the trees.

Of course, Matsuri said, "What guy?"

"Oh, never mind," I sat back, "it was a crazy thought, anyway." What I didn't want to do was talk. By this time of the evening I had planned to be into some heavy tongue fencing, if not more.

"No, really, who did you think it was?" He said.

I checked my watch. It was 20 minutes to 10. My plans were pretty much shot by now, "Before I can answer that question, I'll have to tell you about Gaku-kun and myself today and what we did."

"Yeah," Matsuri said, putting the Coke down, "what was that all about, anyway?"

So I told him, starting with my phone conversation full of the drama that was Gaku-kun. Why not? I couldn't think of a reason to doubt Matsuri. I'd even asked him not to repeat my conversation with Ichikawa to anyone, even Sora and Sunao. I was sure he wouldn't.

"Why do you think he wanted to talk to you and no one else?" Matsuri said, bright green eyes sparkling in the dark.

"My guess is that," by this time, in my original plan, I was hoping to be screwing Honjou-kun in the front seat of my car. It was beginning to look like that wasn't going to happen tonight. I sighed in disappointment, "he thought I might be able to investigate Aizawa's death, which I would never do. Do you know why?"

Of course he knew, "Because if Aizawa is still alive, well, he knows you."

"Exactly," I said, "so I'll give the job to my good friend Faye Valentine, er, Faye Spiegel now. I'll have her check into the death of Aizawa. Maybe do a little surveillance."

"I should go in," Matsuri said. I detected a little sadness in his voice, or was it merely wishful thinking on my part?

I agreed and opened the car door for him. It was still raining, but the crowd was thinning. Thinning enough, anyway. I stole another kiss from Matsuri's sweet lips, caressing his tongue, getting one last taste before saying goodnight.

"Hey!" A familiar voice came from behind me, "You guys made up?"

I turned to see Sora and Sunoa standing on the sidewalk, smiling. I sighed and said to Matsuri, "Tonight's just not the night, huh?"

He giggled, his right hand in my left.

"Man, it rained hard, didn't it?" Sora said, "Nao-kun and I had to come out to do garbage bin duty tonight, making sure the doors are locked."

Yeah. What could you do but pretend to be sympathetic and hope the two would move on? They didn't. I ushered Matsuri along, hand in the small of his back,

"What time is it? 10 o'clock already?" I said it to make a little conversation. Sora didn't have a watch but Sunao did.

"No – we still have 5 minutes," he said.

I walked Matsuri to the back door. Sora and Sunao went in ahead of us.

"Um," he said, "do you want to call my cell when you get home? Just to … I don't know."

One more kiss. That's all I wanted. One more kiss tonight. If that's what he wanted to give right now, that's what I would take. To hold my love, to feel his slim, hard body close to mine. As I pulled him against me I felt his erection through his jeans. I kissed him roughly, making love to his silky tongue until the 10 o'clock bell sounded.

Matsuri pulled away, "Wooo!"

I watched him go through the doorway and into the dorm. Before the door closed he looked at me over his shoulder, "Call me."

Oh, yes. And if I get my way, I'll be calling you _my wife_ very soon.

* * *

_You've probably noticed by now that I use names from other anime shows that I like - Loveless, Cowboy Bebop. When I need a name in a hurry, I just pick someone I secretly luv from another series, lol. Thank you, reviewers! ^_^_


	5. Chapter 5

**chapter 5**

I didn't call him as soon as I got home. I undressed and put on a pair of pajama bottoms. Autumn and winter always made me feel like that, especially rainy fall nights. Maybe because our big house had always been so damned cold when I was a kid. I still couldn't sleep if it was too hot out. I poured myself a cognac and sat down on my bed.

He answered his phone on the second ring, "Hello?"

"Hi," was all I said.

"Hi," he said softly. This was followed by a shy silence. I could almost hear the wheels turning in that blond head.

"So …," I was starting to feel like I might have a little bit of the advantage with Matsuri-chan, being accustomed to manipulating a pretty lover into doing what I wanted. For example, the art student. "Can we have dinner together tomorrow night?"

"Dinner?" The way it came out, it sounded as if I had suggested we join the circus for the evening as the high wire act.

"You don't like dinner," I said. "How about if we have dinner at my house? I'll cook for you."

That part was a lie. I'd pick up dinner. I never cooked on a week night. It was too time-consuming. My routine was to stop at the gym after work and then go for take-out. After eating a little something at home I would spend the rest of the evening reading. Exciting life. Sometimes I almost couldn't take it anymore. And then there was always laundry to look forward to.

"Mmm," he said. I knew what that meant.

"If you think it's too soon for dinner at my place, then it's too soon for dinner at my place," I said quietly. Having dinner at a date's apartment was usually followed by a trip to the bedroom for dessert.

"It's just that," he said, "the first time we did dinner, it … didn't seem to go all that well …."

"You're right. It could've been more fun." I tinkled the ice in my glass, "Maybe we should just do something like taking a walk on the waterfront. See a movie?"

"Yeah," he said, "I … that sounds like fun."

"Does it really? Tell me the truth."

He was still shy, "I'm serious! It sounds like fun."

"All right. How about if I pick you up at 6 o'clock tomorrow night?" That would give us four hours before curfew, one of the drawbacks of dating a teenager.

"Yeah, okay," he whispered.

"Then it's a date. Promise you'll dream about me tonight."

He giggled.

"Promise?"

"Soushi!"

"I promise that I'll dream about you. I'll dream about beeping on your beep."

"What did you say?"

"You heard me."

He giggled again.

"I think you're teasing me, Soushi."

"I would love to use my tongue to tease your beep."

"Soushi!"

"Hey, I'm being honest here, babe. I want my motives to be obvious."

"Motives?"

"Motives."

"Okay," he giggled. "Fine. I …."

"I wish you were here. I love being with you," I said.

"Mmm," he said, "I wish … too. I want …." He wouldn't go on from there.

"Tell me. You can tell me anything, babe."

"I … no – I can't. Not yet." He giggled nervously.

High school kids.

"All right. I'll wait. But I want you to know – I won't be satisfied until you're in my arms."

"Mmm," he said and then became quiet. "All right, I'll tell you."

That was quick. I settled back to listen.

"What I want is …," he was starting to sound dreamy, his voice soft and lazy, "I want to be like Shinichirou and Nanami … the way they … are."

"Shinichirou and Nanami …," was all I could say. I sipped at my drink, "They are a good couple."

I think only two people knew that I once made love to Nanami. Not even Shinichirou knew. Making love to Nanami, and then having her leave me for my brother had broken my heart.

Matsuri broke through my sadness, suddenly scolding me, "And I want you to stop teasing Nanami!"

"Do you, babe?" I said softly.

Matsuri answered firmly, "Yes!"

"Well, then," another decent drink of scotch warmed me, "if Matsuri-chan wants it so, it shall be."

He tried to laugh and make light of the seriousness of things. It didn't work.

"I should let you get to sleep," I said. "Tell me if I'm right – you're an early bird, aren't you? You rise and shine at around 6 a.m."

"5:30," he said.

"Really? 5:30!"

"I go to the gym, then shower and head down for breakfast."

"Promise that you'll think of me when you're in the shower."

"Soushi!"

"All right. Promise that you'll think of me when you're having sausage for breakfast." It was all I could do to stop myself from laughing.

"You!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, love," I said and hung up.

For me the night was young, only 11. I thought very briefly about calling my lover and decided against it. Matsuri wouldn't like it, and the art student was probably with his lover, anyway, at this hour. We had a code between the two of us when I called and his lover was over for the evening – he pretended he was talking to his sister. That didn't bother me. Like I said – I didn't love him.

I finished my drink and thought about my arrangement. If Matsuri and I did get serious, I would have to break it off. With a cash settlement, no doubt. There had been a few times when I helped him along with school fees, for which he had been very appreciative in a lot of ways. That was a slight complication, but he wasn't the kind to make a fuss.

Instead of thinking of the boy I'd been with that very day, I fell asleep thinking about the one I wanted more than anything. The day I first saw him, he was talking to Ryoyo. He turned to look at me as I approached the two, confident and sure of himself with the cutest little butt. I wanted to touch his blond mane then, feel the silk of it through my my fingers. In my sleep I buried my face in that blond hair, my body moving with his.


	6. Chapter 6

**chapter 6**

The first thing I did the next morning was call Faye and leave her a message about the job. I was sure the man Ichikawa saw was in no way Aizawa. Well, pretty sure of it, anyway. When I thought about it during the morning commute, Nagase himself was the only person to say that the remains had been identified. And yet … the insurance money had come in. I would have Faye look into all of that.

Around 11 or so I had an unexpected visitor. My secretary called me out to the lobby.

The art student!

I gave him a chaste kiss, "You don't look so good. What's wrong?"

I could be open in front of my secretary. She was gay herself. My art student looked to be … in distress. He said nothing.

"Come into my office. Kasumi, please give us about an hour or so," I said.

I ushered my art student into my office and had him take off his jacket and backpack, hoping he would relax a little.

I touched him, "Don't tell me – you're missing me terribly."

He didn't expect that. He laughed and blushed at the same time, "Soushi … if I could marry anyone else, it'd be you."

I kissed him again, this time a little deeper. I did have affection for him. More lust than affection, that was true, but … I liked him. I unbuckled and unzipped him. He didn't object. Maybe he had the same night that I had – frustrated. I handled him and listened as his breathing increased, his hips moving against my hand. Just then Kasumi came over the intercom,

"Soushi … it's …."

"Kasumi!" I continued with that I was doing, "What did I just say?"

"Well, it's Faye, and I know you called her …," she said.

My lover was coming up nicely. I picked up the phone without letting go of him,

"Good morning, love!" I said. I was happy, after all. "So you got my phone call." She did. We talked about that briefly and she agreed to take the case. Finished with that business for now, I went back to my lover.

I sat down on the chair closest to my desk and took him in my mouth. He moaned as I did what I was very good at. As I used my tongue I thought about Matsuri and wanted the day to come when he would let me make love to him.

I could tell by my art student's moans and hardness how close he was. I knew him that well, and so I stopped. I told him to undress. He knew what I wanted. I went the bathroom in my office for a condom and some lubrication. When I returned he was ready for me on the sofa. What a beautiful body. Even so, I still thought about my Matsuri.

He did the honors with the condom. When I went to use the lubrication he cried out.

"Did you make love last night?" I said, kneeling behind him. I entered him to the hilt.

He cried out, and then, "No."

I didn't move. I stayed where I was for a moment, enjoying the feel of him.

"No?" I said.

"No. He doesn't love me," my art student said.

Now I couldn't stay still any longer. I moved. He touched himself as I did so. I told him to stop. He was a good lover. He stopped. Instead, I put my hand where his had been and matched my strokes to my movements inside him. Kasumi came on the intercom again,

"I'm leaving for lunch," she said.

"Fine," I said. "Lock the door, please."

I continued for another 20 minutes and then felt the familiar tightening in my groin and the buildup to orgasm. As I moved harder against my lover, he came, his spurts matching the movement of my hips. Even as I finished I stayed where I was. My loins and member were still twitching inside him as he whimpered, spent. A few more minutes and I withdrew and went for the bathroom, where he joined me. I kissed him deeply,

"So, now will you tell me what's wrong?" I said. He laughed, his hazel eyes sparkling.

Satisfied with our sex, I sat back in my office chair and watched my art student dress, his member soft.

"Can you come over tonight?" He said, "I'll make dinner."

And here I was certain he needed more money. I had suspected for a while that he was spending the money on the one he loved, which was fine with me. He was courting his lover. I was planning to do the same with a young blond.

"I can't tonight, honey," I said. "I have a commitment."

"Mmm," he still seemed upset.

I went over to him and kissed him again, drawing out his tongue and making love to him that way.

After a few minutes, I withdrew, "Will you tell me what's bothering you so much?"

He thought about it, and then, "I just … it's not something that I can … not just like that."

"All right," I said. Something was bothering him quite a bit. "How about if I come to your place later tonight, around 10 or 10:30?" I would take Matsuri back to the dorm and then head to the university district.

"Sure," he said, brightening a little. "That would be great. You can stay over night if you want."

"Really?" Now I brightened a little, "and what about your lover?"

He shook his head no, suddenly sad again. So that was it. His lover had done something – the most hurtful thing he had done yet. I kissed my art student again,

"All right. I'll be over later tonight and then we can talk."

I was certain we'd have sex first and then talk, but we would definitely talk. What was going on in the back of my mind was that I really hoped Matsuri never found out about any of this. I had a feeling he would never understand friends with benefits. I had the benefits and my friend was willing to undress whenever I needed him.


End file.
